3/17/2008
{ The smell of your skin lingers on me now
8:48 AM
Morning,
i had so much rest after camp yesterday. i really enjoyed the 3days/2night camp,but, sadly i cant attend the first day of camp due to investiture meeting and 40th annual dinner @meritus mandarin and and and i paitau the annual dinner. hahaha.
camp, was so much fun. im not regretting coming down there early in the morning with the ex's. the group really welcoming me thou i come for the 2 day camp. high element, zig zag, multi captain ball, mud walk and camp fire night was totally blast fucking fun i tell you. this is the ever best camp i had in my life with energetic might ducks and the cute int,trevis. i had so much fun with them thou he's ard looking at me and i don't really cares he's ard me.life have to go on.
i am so lucky indeed after the break-ups. cos my everyday life always have something for me to do. and i don't even have so much rest. i had investiture's and the thailand's trip coming on the 20th and 22th.i spent jolly well with march/april sch hols. i really keep myself occupied,thou its really tired but worth for myself. thank god for everything.
let me tell you this, im tired with everything i had in my past life and now all i have to do is put something meaningful and benefit for myself and life. i don't need anyone to share with my present life right now and i'm glad i had a wonderful family and friends around me. i guess, im mature enough to think for myself. all this while i've been thinking and doing for all myself without asking somebody help that means i'm adult. yipee....
3/10/2008
{ The smell of your skin lingers on me now
9:30 PM
Everyday it's getting worse not better,
Maybe we should sit and finally talk.
Cuz where were at it's hard to measure,
When I'm standin in front of a wall, yeah
You wanna know why I look sad and lonely.
You wanna know why I can barely talk, well
It's not your fault so let me say I'm sorry,
For makin you the reason for my fall.
I wish that I could be like I was before.
I was ridin high but now I'm feelin so low.
I wish that you could make my world feel better,
And take away the hurt so I won't be so far gone (yeah)
I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish
I wish, I wish, I wish
You always hurt the people closest to ya,
Guess I blamed you for everything wrong.
And I don't know why it's so hard to tell ya,
I guess that's why I'm writing you this song! yeah
3/08/2008
{ The smell of your skin lingers on me now
4:52 PM
heylo goodafternoon,
i really don't know where to start. hmmm..
okey, im doing good and been busy with as usual school stuff and meetings. exam is just next week and i really dont't know if i really ready to sat for the paper. i've been studied so hard so far and revised the last paper rev. and i do hope i pass this paper.
ROOSTER.
SCHOOL
-Study week
-EXAM
Thailand Trip
-Meeting
-Meeting
-Teambuilding
-visit disabled adult (community service)
-Playing with Cement.
Flight off 22 march.8 am...till 5th april.
Investiture Sc
-Meeting
-Meeting
-Rehearsal
-Voting for president
-Rehearsal till 20th March.
-Blaze I & Blaze II Camp
-Exco's Chalet
Bridge Leader
Camp on 14th to 16th @ jln batera.
Nite Cyling
-Meeting.
I dont know what im going do for my life.
im tired with everything i had.
waiting for the right time to say it out.
like what i said.
"i prepared for the worse to come".
2/25/2008
{ The smell of your skin lingers on me now
1:11 PM
2/23/2008
{ The smell of your skin lingers on me now
3:27 PM
heylo,
i hardly get myself free from anything. i am so busy with my school stuff.life full of hectic but i met new great peoples around.i don't have time for myself RNR only during the night and early in the morning ive to woke up early. im sicked and tired of this routine and the problems i had to faced and trying to put the problems aside.i know i get involved so many activities just to get myself free of thinking the problems i had to settle.but i've already prepared for the worse.let it be.every problems there's always a solution.
i want to set my mind and soul strong, set my priorities right.i want my life path to be smooth and straight without any difficulties.sometimes, i finally let go of everything.i dont know wht was holding me back anymore.i dont know what it is about.bt sometimes i break down and cry over anything i cud possibly think of.anything makes me sad or sensitive soul.i dnt know if im being stupid or naive. thou ppl think i was a bubbly and happy type of person i do have weakness in myself.bt my head is overloaded with shit between my daily life, schools,past and the present.
if can i dont want to think about aything and i know i always avoid when comes to settle things.sometime i wish i could share with someone that really understand my situation and help me out of this shit.urgh!
thailand trip only next month i do hope, the problems would go away without leaving any disapointed, hatred, sadness or whatsoever that hurts.
2/04/2008
{ The smell of your skin lingers on me now
2:37 PM
its sucha pain and shity at the same time. i dont know what i got myself into. i felt so so so sad and many mix emotion feeling in me. i felt like im dying inside. urgh. i wish i cud dig the hole and put myslf in inside and went to sleep. i felt sucky sucky right now. i missed someone so blardy much. really. i miss you so much...
1/04/2008
{ The smell of your skin lingers on me now
6:08 PM
sometimes,i felt i need ijal here.sometimes, i felt i need him more than anyone. i felt he understands me more than anyone.he the only guys that i met who really being patient with me.sometimes,i felt shit all the time.i don't know why i feel this way. what's got into me now.i had someone.why, i can't just adapt with this person?why i had this negative thought and paranoid feelings.why, i can't just be cool.urgh! i feel blardy pissed.but i really2 need hafeez too.i can't have 2 at all times.and its not fair. i shud move on like right now. please look forward fauziah. please...
{ The smell of your skin lingers on me now
3:34 PM
its cloudy today.
hey,im watching the prince hour just to killed my boredom.and surprisingly they have eng sub title.if i know youtube have this korean mv's i would'nt ask bf to rent for me from his workplace.i can just watching it from youtube and they have eng sub unlike someone workplace.
i really2 feeling shit and bored right now. really!i can't wait for school reopen and miting up the crzy bunch of peeps at school.but i hope i don't have to heard or whatsoever comments or stories between me with bf in school.and i've to prepared myself for the worst and sooner or later they will know my status and that's was so not fun lah when people know i'm attched.i still want to have attention and get pampered by them but sadly bf have warning me to not go beyond his limit.damned it!i find him, like maknenek uh and then its hard for me to flirt ard.but i can do behind his back. hahaha.
hafeez having a lifesaving course today at school.i bet he having fun kissing while doing his cpr practical test.he sound so happy when he phone me.biaserlahhot stuff and he always surrounding with girls.but let him be lah, i really don't bother that much.lets the girls entertaining him so i dont have to layan him.i can take a rest.
Ijal in camp right now. i really pity him so much and i felt bad all the time when thinking about him and listened to his problems and how he feels everything. sometimes, i felt like giving him another chance but i know i can't do that.as a friend the only way to listened to his sorrowness. but i admit,i even cant forget him and sometimes i do missed him.he's the only one who really2 understand my characters and everything about me.he's the most generous,loving,caring guy i met in this world.who does not stingy and selfish with his money.i really hope he get a girl that loves him and not his money.
and now...i hope this is my happiness.
